Saturday, April 10, 2010

Two and a half Months in to Twelve Month Recovery

Didn't take meds yesterday to see what pain and disability was being masked. Shocked to barely be able walk across length of Costco (not up & down aisles, just as the crow flies) and was a shaking, crying exhausted mess for it. Suprisingly didn't suffer any "withdrawal" type of symptoms (headache, nausea, shaking, mood swings) - felt the same old me; just with exponentially more pain and bone tired from simple actions like walking to the bathroom. This begs inspection though - if I can't even buy Ranch dressing without medication; how far into my recovery am I? If the answer is, "not far" then what the heck am I doing cooking/cleaning/schooling/crafting - generally resuming my high standards for personal output?

Something to think about over the weekend. Thoughts?

P.S. And yes, among other things, I put the soybeans back in the cupboard for a later introduction.


jacque4u2c said...

I love bacon, oh I guess that doesn't have anything to do with your post!!! Giggle - i love your post - still laughing!

Alison said...

I'm so sorry, Nicole. That is a horrible, terrible thing that you have to deal with. I wish there was something I could do... but I send you fairy dust of hope. Lots of it. Maybe a bucket full. Please let me know if I can do anything for you.

Mima said...

Sometimes it is better not to know, just to carry on with what you can manage when you do have the help - that's why it's there and they are offering it to you!!

As for doing too much, if you are managing to do everything within your spoons, and not getting payback from it, then you are probably doing ok. However if you are anything like me you probably need a little payback from time to time to remind you to slow down!!

You are doing really well with your recovery, look at where you were just a couple of weeks ago, and how much more you can manage now. Having a down day is all part of the package, and you got through it, and that's when everyone should be telling you WELL DONE!!!

Bombshell Stamps said...

You're one of the bravest women I've ever encountered and deserve a standing ovation for your determined efforts. HUGE HUGS!!!

Anonymous said...

If the drugs are blocking the whole pain/stress-chemical cycle from happening, and therefore you can do stuff without getting worn out, then that seems great. Healing and recovery is happening underneath, and it's not like you're stealing energy from healing to apply to cooking.

But there's probably a point where resting instead of pushing does keep the maximum possible resources going toward recovery. Like, missing out on sleep in order to clean house probably doesn't make much sense.

If you need an example of some nice low standards, drop on by! :)

Kathi said...

If the pain meds allow you to do what you can and aren't causing more damage or pain, use them.

Your surgery was MAJOR, cut yourself some slack please.

Your determination, bravery, persistence, and sense of humor will see you through to a total recovery.

Jenna Bayley-Burke said...

Honey, there is light at the end of your tunnel. Remember when that tunnel was bleak and dark? You're moving in the right direction, just at the speed of love, not the speed of light. cozy, light just passes through.

AND...the body doesn't heal when in pain. The endorphins released when we're in pain impede healing. PLUS, with the way you push yourself, I think being more active on pain meds is better for long term recovery than suffering through.

If, God forbid, one of the boys were going through this, what would you say? Now, go to the mirror and say it out loud. Until you actually hear it. You are brave and strong and altogether fabulous. Just ask around ;)

Elizabeth said...

@grrlpup: Careful! Our example of nice low standards might backfire, and reaffirm her attachment to her own high standards! However, I am prepared to risk it. ;-)

Nicole, you're two and a half months into a projected twelve-month recovery: you know that I'm gonna say that it's okay to behave as if you're recovering, yes?

CathyR said...

I think recovery is a fickle thing. Some days you take 5 steps forward and others you take 3 steps back. You are doing so much at 2 1/2 months. Cheer the accomplishments and yell at the setbacks. Pretty soon there will be more forward moving days than backwards ones.

Remember when your boys were tiny and they slept and ate more just before a growth spurt to get the energy they needed to grow? Your body is doing the same thing. The down days are it's way of telling you that it needs rest before the next growth (healing) spurt. Just remember we are all cheering you on.

madebymegs said...

Your body has been put to the test with your spinal surgery. You need to take your meds regularily, as the meds help with your pain management, but the meds also will help with your healing. Talk to your doctor and find out how long he/she believes you will be on this medication.

The key to your recovery is to take things at a slow pace. Working above and beyond what your body can do will hinder your healing. You only have so many
'spoons' to use in one day, so please remember this. Using all your spoons for one activity will lead to exhaustion and fatigue, which I am pretty sure you do not want right now.

Hang in there and please do not put so much pressure on yourself to heal faster...the body can only do so much in a short period of time. You are in my thoughs and if you need advice on pacing yourself, just contact me and I can help you out a bit. One thing I have learned with my fibromyalgia is to pace myself...otherwise, I would be in bed 24 hours of the day :)